Journal Log of A Bad Day
ournal log of an Ultima Online player's bad day in real life:
UO Version 1.25.1999.
Welcome to A Bad Day!
Fred: *yawns*
Fred: Damn, so early in the morning! I hate work.
Fred: *gets up and trots into the kitchen*
You see: Refrigerator has 0 items, 0 stones
Fred: *curses*
Fred: *gets dressed and leaves his apartment for work*
Your house's age and its contents have been refreshed.
Fred: You quickly unlock, open, and relock the door.
Fred: Now where did I park Silver, my car?
Fred: Ah, here it is.
Fred: *opens the door and sits down in his car*
: Silver looks somewhat annoyed.
Fred: *turns the key*
Silver: *hic*
Fred: *turns the key again*
: Silver seems to have decided that it's better off without its master.
Fred: *calls a cab, cursing loudly*
Cab Driver: Destination?
Fred: I'm looking to go to the company AFK, will you take me?
Cab Driver: I will take thee!
Fred: Lead on! Payment will be made when we arrive at the company AFK.
Fred: *reaches the office, thirty minutes later*
Boss: [The Real Boss, AFK]
You see: Boss
Fred: Hail Boss, how art thee?
Boss: U suck, Fred! Where's the work you should have done until yesterday?
Fred: You can't seem to hide right now.
Boss: *shouts*
Boss: Think! WHERE HAVE YOU PUT ALL THE PAPERS?
You cannot focus your concentration.
Boss: *looks very angry*
Boss: I want some answers, NOW!
Fred: Excuse me, Boss, but Derik is calling me.
You see: A recall rune to my favorite pub
Fred: Kal Ort Por
Fred: Select Marked item.
Fred: The spell fizzles.
Fred: Boss is attacking you!
Fred: *runs out of the office*
You see: Derik
You are too fatigued to move.
Derik starts trying to heal you.
Fred: Thanks Derik!
Derik: No problem. Sup?
Fred: Trouble with Boss. I'll better leave now and have something to eat.
Derik: Bye!
Fred: *steps out on the street*
You see: Business Man
You see: dog shit on the sidewalk
You see: a dog
You see: Policeman
You see: Beggar
Thomas: [Best Drink Mixer, PUB]
You see: Thomas
Fred: Hail Thomas! Wouldst thou bring me a whisky, prithee!
Thomas: I am sorry, I do not have my wares here with me. Let us go back to my shop.
: The Staggering Barman
: This pub is somewhat worn.
Fred: *enters the pub and sits down on a barstool*
Thomas: Thou hast mine attention.
Fred: A whisky on the rocks, Thomas! Thomas buy!
Thomas: Greetings. Have a look around.
Thomas: The total of thy purchase is 5 bucks. My thanks for the patronage.
Fred: *takes a long sip*
You enter a meditative trance.
Fred: Thomas, I'm hungry!
Thomas: Thou wishest to speak with me?
Fred: Thomas buy!
Thomas: The total of thy purchase is 7 bucks. My thanks for the patronage.
Fred: What is it? It looks like some kind of burger...
Fred: *looks at the Bartender*
What would you like to evaluate?
Fred: You cannot quite judge his cooking abilities.
Fred: Whatever! I'm hungry.
You eat the food, but are still extremely hungry.
You eat the food, and begin to feel more satiated.
Fred: *You feel disoriented and nauseous!*
Fred: Guards! 'Tis awful! Death! Ah!
Fred: An Nox
Your concentration is disturbed, thus ruining thy spell.
Fred: An Nox
Your concentration is disturbed, thus ruining thy spell.
Fred: An Nox
Fred: You have cured Fred of all poisons.
Fred: *raises from the stool and staggers out of the pub*
Fred: *reaches his home, after a long and painful walk*
You have left the protection of the town guards.
Fred: You quickly unlock, open, and relock the door.
Fred: That is locked, but is usable from the inside.
Fred: I wonder if my wife is home already...
Being perfectly rested, you shove something invisible out of the way.
Fred: *curses softly*
Mary: [Guildmaster, HOME]
You see: Mary
You fail in your attempt to move unnoticed.
Mary: *looks angry, waving a pan in her hand*
Mary: Where have you been all day?
Fred: Err... Hello Mary... Look what I have for you! A nice paper flower.
What would you like to make?
You were barely able to make this item. It's quality is below average.
Mary: Are you trying to fool me? Is this all I ever get from you, you lazy bastard?
Fred: I can't afford any more of that right now. You might try other adventurers.
Fred: I am holding 3 bucks for you.
Mary: My current charge is 50 bucks per day!
Mary: Including your gold I'm holding, I have enough gold to continue working for half a day! (6 Ultima Online days)
Fred: Well... I just... lost my job, I fear.
Mary: *strikes him down with her iron pan*
Fred: A good blow on thy part... but not enough!
Fred: *You are in extreme pain, and require immediate aid!*
Mary: IS THIS ALL YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?
Mary: Kal Vas Flam
You feel yourself resisting magical energy!
You are dead.